Friends

When I went on a civil rights trip last year, we were at this really cool, old, supposedly haunted hotel, and a few of us were hanging out in the hallway, just talking. That might have been my favorite part of the trip, other than the academic interests. But anyways, these were the kids that I really wanted to hang out with the whole trip because they seemed really nice and everything. Somehow we started talking about personalities and fakeness and such. Someone asked me why I dye my hair bright colors and wear bright clothes. I can’t remember what I said but it was something along the lines of “it’s the cheesiest answer ever”. But they wanted to hear it. And I said “I guess because people never see or notice who I really am inside, so I try to make my outsides look as my insides feel so that people will understand better”. They thought it was the best reason ever to dye your hair, haha. But I knew they understood. And they didn’t think I was weird. I wish I could live in that moment for another night. It was all too quick. I wish I could meet more people like that and keep them with me. Anyways, I don’t dye my hair anymore.

It use to mean something. Everyone thinks they could easily guess what it use to mean, but it was never easy between us. They wouldn't know so they won't know. You are just an indent now, a few letters across a wrist. Our time has passed & I will definitely continue to let it. But it use to mean something. Not as in it doesn't now, but to say that is use to mean something else. You are something else & so am I. But not apart & not today. They'll all make guesses but we were the ones hauling in the right cards. I think everyone in the world should wish for a friendship like what ours was. I want you to know that it makes me feel alienated to say that, knowing that I don't think that advice will ever extend to myself. I'm sorry I figured myself out too early, too late, & without you.



This was my lifeline to sanity somedays.

2amtomorning
If you find yourself at the crossroads of insomnia and insanity, this is the place to channel those demons that keep you sleepless. Vivid pictures, poetry, ruminations, and confessions from the nether hours between dusk and dawn. Originally formed to celebrate the city at night, there's a strong urban theme.

green_future
Dedicated to promoting global sustainability, this community offers a forum for discussing current environmental news, research, and issues with tips on how to make positive, pro-active changes to reduce carbon impact. You'll also find information on how to get involved in eco-activism and learn about events near you (i.e., act local; think global). Offering a wealth of data on earth-friendly products and practices, you'll be inspired to don an organic bamboo cape and save the planet.

wtf_sexism
Self-described as "a little community with a lot of rage," you can soak up impassioned vibes and read blistering exposes detailing sexist attitudes in the news, pop culture, and science! A must-join community if you are, or love, a feminist. (NB: the topic of whether a "man" can be a feminist is outside the scope of this spotlight, but will probably wind up on the Writer's Block.)

Girl: Sounds good, if we're not sick of each other by then.
Boy: Thats really up to you.
Girl: Oh really?
Boy: Well, I'm not going to get sick of you, so it's up to how long you can put up with me.
Girl: That's good then. Cause I have a lot of movies to watch and wouldn't mind company. And I guess you're not that bad... :)
Boy: Yeah, I know i'm awesome. I know that "you're not that bad" really means "you're awesome".
Girl: Hm, well nothing gets by you now does it?
Boy: I try. -grins-

The girl curses at the charm that always gets her. It's so pathetic, but it makes her feel a tiny bit infinite. Like she could actually learn how to smile more often by listening to his silly words and imagining that goofy grin. It makes her feel like she just may want to be...infinite.

It's almost a new year; I need to change the way I see things. I only see the dark and sad side of everything. Everyday feels like going through hell when all the people around me make me feel bad about myself. I must have a positive and happy outlook on life...

But how can I do that when eveyone around me shoves me back to the ground? :/

I've spent 19 years hating myself. I'm exhausted. I want to feel infinite. I need to feel infinite.

renaissance2010
Turning to photography as a creative outlet during a valiant fight with breast cancer at age 34, renaissance10 survived and set up a photo contest to help raise funds for the Lavender Trust, a nonprofit that provides information and support to younger women with breast cancer. In the first two years, the competition brought in over £65,000 (that's $107,260.73 U.S.!), with entries from 130 countries last year. Renaissance10 recently joined LiveJournal to meet other passionate photographers and find supportive friends.

curiouscupcakes
Holy buttercream frosting! If you have a sweet tooth for sugary goodness or a wandering eye for whimsical confection, this is pure ecstasy iced in deliciousness. Hailing the beloved cupcake as the artisinal canvas of choice, you'll enjoy recipes, photos, and bountiful tips to bake up a batch, whether your taste leans toward French classics or funky and flavorful.

mission101
With New Years in the offing, it's an ideal time to reflect on past accomplishments, make peace with disappointments, and refocus the lens on future goals. This community welcomes you to create a bucket list of 101 things you plan to accomplish in the next 1,001 days. Offering support, guidance, and inspiration, this is a great way to jumpstart those pesky resolutions.

I still remember it vividly -- the way he looked at me. He hadn't looked at me like that in over a year. It was a look of lust; a look that said, "Come here -- I need you desperately." And, I couldn't help giving into the look. I was a sucker for those brown-green eyes that totally ripped me open. He pulled himself an inch away from my face, and he whispered, "I know you want to," with a confidence I had never seen in this boy. Here was the boy, who at fourteen, would stutter anytime he said the word fuck, now at sixteen, is telling me how badly I "want it." I do, I do want it badly. I want to be pulled in by my shoulder-blades and kissed like he used to kiss me -- full of lust, butterflies, and the attempt of breaking out of his daily routine. I ran my hands through his hair, and I looked at him. For a split second, we weren't exes with a catastrophic past, but we were lovers with nothing but desire in mind. Our mouths crashed like cars. I couldn't have enough of him. I wanted more. I pressed my hands against his face, and grabbed his shirt collar. He touched my collar-bone, and then stopped. He pulled away, and for a split second, he looked sad. He hoped I didn't notice, and went back in for another kiss, but I noticed, he looked sad -- like he was disappointed it was me kissing him. He wished I was someone else, and all I wanted to be was someone he wanted., but it came to my realization that I'm not, and three months later, as I'm staring at the walls of a mental institution, I'm seeing that look, and it haunts me. It haunts my heart, and I wish I never had to catch it.
I wish I never had to still be in love with him after 23 months.